a private processing tool

What
happened?

Before you tell the story,
12-15 minutes. Nothing leaves this browser.
Let's start with you

How have you actually been?

Check anything close enough to true. Some answers open a follow up.

A GUT CHECK

If you could have named one need out loud instead of hoping they'd notice, what would it have been?

Their turn

Now them. How'd they show up?

Same territory, other side. You won't see the two lists compared.

A GUT CHECK

What do you think they needed that they never said out loud?

What came up

A few patterns are showing up.

Open the ones that feel true. The more you open, the more specific your results will be.

YOUR READ
Keep this

Download your results

A printable packet: everything you checked, your read in full, your patterns written out, and writing pages built from your own answers.

Built in your browser. Your answers still never get sent anywhere.

Small stuff

Not homework. Just things that take ten minutes.

Worth your time

The right reads for you.

More that may apply to you

Listen on the drive

For when reading is too much.

Talk to someone

You don't have to arrive knowing what's wrong.

These are not ads, and we earn nothing from therapist listings.

If someone asks

These may help ease the fatigue of answering.

Pass it on

Your results never leave your browser, so sharing them means copying the words, not a link to a page about you.

1 in 5
people who start therapy stop going before they meant to. Sitting all the way through something uncomfortable is rare. You just did.
This isn't therapy and it isn't a diagnosis. It's just one way to notice patterns, built on ideas from relationship research. If anything here felt heavy, a licensed therapist is the right next step. You've come this far, and owe it to yourself to keep going. Privacy

Some of what you described isn't a compatibility problem.

You checked things that point to control rather than mismatch: being cut off from people, being monitored, having money or freedom restricted, or being afraid of a reaction.

This tool is built to help people see their part in a dynamic. That framing is the wrong one here, and running you through it could do real harm. So it stops.

This isn't a diagnosis and it isn't a professional opinion about you or about them. It's a website responding to some boxes you checked, and it could be wrong. But these are the right people to ask, and they will not be wrong in the same way a website can be.

National Domestic Violence Hotline
1-800-799-7233, or text START to 88788. Free, 24/7, confidential.

One book, if you want one: Why Does He Do That? by Lundy Bancroft. Written about the patterns, not about what you should have done differently.
Report a problem

Is something broken?

A dead link, an episode that got pulled, a book that is out of print, a typo, anything that did not work. No account, no email needed.

What kind of problem?
What happened?
Email, only if you want a reply

Copy